Lets discuss Instagram.

We all do it, we are all addicted to it. Now this post goes out to those savvy instagrammers, the ones who are on their phones like a chewing gum stuck to a shoe which you can never remove. I am a victim of it and I love it.

Here is why I love it and why it is like a department store.

NEW ARRIVALS

I support you newbie because I was once a new grammar. In fact, we all were! New arrivals are those who have recently set up an account for business, for fun, for entertainment, for stalking, for copying, for spamming or for personal use. These are the ones that go in with full excitement and passion for lets just say maybe the first few weeks? They then realise that they are not Kylie Jenna and that #ThrowbackThursday is not working for them, So they give up because no one is interested or they just CBF. Like new arrivals these accounts need to work hard and remain true to themselves. Once simply does not become big over night unless you are either an A or B class celeb, cook amazing food or chanted to your teapot as if you could wish a genie would appear.

YOU HAVE TO BUILD YOURSELF JUST LIKE YOU WOULD IF YOU STARTED EXERCISING.

BEST SELLERS

These are the ones who hashtag brands and are freaking good at it!

I have been fooled so many times by teeth whitening products that “pretty” girls post into believing that you could have a killer smile that could make diamonds crack. When in fact, you could go to your local Coles and purchase colgate optic white. That stuff actually works wonders and I have recommended it to my roommate who also agrees. She didn’t get a discount code only the coles half price sale they had going, because we want real products that offer real shit.

Don’t get me wrong here, I do admire pages that offer really good stuff! I am actually going to purchase a hat because hats are the new ‘in’ thing right now from a blogger who tagged an online boutique store. I also find inspiration from travel accounts who recommend locations and cool tips with traveling. Now these are the kind of stuff that offer REAL stuff and I will be using their 20% discount, because it helps them out and I get something that I trust. Not some healthy tea that will help you lose 10KG after drinking it for a week without exercising.. fooled yet again.

FAVOURITE FEATURES

We all love to be featured, especially those newbie accounts! Have you noticed though how most feature accounts will only share the most popular accounts which will then get them more popularity? Its true. It’s all a clock, they will keep ticking their followers by featuring more accounts with more followers, then they reset. I am sure they worked hard to get a feature account started and I am sure half of them even worked hard pushing a button on their devices and purchased a few thousand to kick-start their account. Because like a department store.. you will only go into a shop if its upbeat and there is a crowd. People are followers and naturally as humans we do this!

To be lucky enough to get a feature you usually need a few thousand followers and likes per photo so that it draws traffic back to their page. Oh Grammy you’re so savvy, and I love it! I love the game and I find social media so fascinating. Now for those who are a new account with only a few hundred or even with 1 follower who happens to be your mum, expect large accounts to charge you $$ to be features. Don’t loose your dignity because you want to feel special? You could feel just as special purchasing a new outfit and getting your hair did and receiving REAL compliments in REAL LIFE! Shocking, I know.

BACK IN STORE

I envy these accounts, they go offline for a decade or so and then BAM! They post one picture and every man and their dog laps up to the post. Like they never left? If I dare even give up on posting for a day I loose 30 followers. Like come on, I can’t have a life? You people are so hard to please. *insert eye rolling*

This reminds me of a department store because when a popular item is back online or in store everyone must have it! It’s like a drug and they all want to be it. Like my mate Grammy, When One popular account takes a beautiful break on a live land away from online land then they are active again they are gain more than ever. Or maybe, this is all an illusion. I am not trying to sound sad I am just being real over here for the little guys. Don’t forget those christmas sweaters will come back in store one day and make a hoot! So don’t just give up on us yet!

SALE SALE SALE

These just do not give up. They are the annoying spamming accounts that just post when they like where they like until one more sucker gives in. As mentioned above, that sucker being me. Like a department store these sales will constantly be in stock because no one wants them or likes them or they know the word “sale” works. Spam accounts are the worst and I always report these because I like to think I’m a good person and feeding my cat isn’t enough.

Do not send me a link to follow your naked ass or your fake Gucci bag, please I can get this in Hong Kong.

TRENDS

I love these accounts and you will find I follow most of these. They are trendy, carefree and don’t have many following. They don’t give up on their account and find new and interesting ways to gain more on gram. These are the ones where you go into a store and your like ” Okay okay I like but not sure if it will work for me.. maybe I try.”

These are the small accounts which started hard and young like I and do not buy bots or likes to become a best seller. Trends are the new and interesting.

Stay trend my friend.

Well there you have it, my reasons on why I think Instagram is like a department store.

This world is all about being online, let’s be honest. I find it all interesting and have no shame saying how it is, because I am a free spirit Aquarian traveller making her way around town with her colegate smile.

You can actually find my Instagram account below and tell me which category I would fit in? I won’t be offended 😉

: @travellinglikeanaquarian

Instagram Slang for Newbies: Because I like you and want you to become a trend. Also, so my mum can learn and keep up with society online world.

#TBT – Throwback Thursday
#OOTD – Outfit of the DAY
#Foodporn – This is about meals not some kinky weird shit
#Regram – Re-posting something
#WCW – Woman crush Wednesday
#MCM – Man crush Monday
#POTD – Photo of the day
#Igers – means Instgrammers? stupid right. We slang everything
#IG – also means Instagram. Even shorter.. even stupider.
#GF – Global family supporting those fam bams
#Fitspo – Fitness and healthy living for inspiration
#F4F – follow for a follow
#L4L – like for like – bet you didn’t guess that one
#S4S – Shoutout for shoutout – shocking.
#DM – Short for direct message. (Not donut munching)
#FBF – Flashback Friday. (because we needed one for friday)
#SMH – Shaking my head (because it would be way to long to type, lazy fingers)
#FF – Follow Friday (But I could think of an adult word that I’m feeling about typing all these)
#LMAO – Laughing my a- off
#YOLO – you only live once
#LOL – Laugh out loud ( Mother, it is not lots of love, sorry.)

Please make sure you comment below your hashtag short cuts, Instagram account or send me comment on your thoughts about the above ^^

X Sarah