The other week I wrote this post from the Domestic Terminal in Sydney as my flight didn’t depart until another good ol’ solid 5 more hours:
I look out the window to see a beautiful dark grey cloud of future rain. This just makes me want so sleep even more. As I sit and ponder for a new topic to discuss naturally my bored Aquarian soul decides to tune out and take in my current surrounding. From here I start to watch people..
However it has provided me with a great insight on what others do…when I start to pay attention in my surroundings at the airport.
So, I have created a list of all the people who I have been observing.
1 – Christen Grey the Business Men
I think it is pretty standard for a premium airline to have a lot of business passengers. Especially your Mr Grey type.
It is almost as if being at the airport they must always be on show. They must impress their lioness and have the most dapper suit. They are all well prepared with their matching coats and luggage. For the ones feeling ‘uber’ important you will catch them talking on the phone. These people are always usually in a hurry whilst keeping a cool demeanour. Some will make eye contact and smile, others will frown as if thinking ‘how on earth do you dare to look in my direction.’
2 – The Misfit
Which is usually me.
I am always travelling solo so I sit alone and like now, observe. On that note. I am getting concern for Mr Albert who is sitting across from me. I originally thought he was with a group of people but now he might be unconscious. I named him Albert because he looks like Albert Einstein.
I also name us the “Misfit” purely out of the fact that we are not a ‘specific’ character. Such as those who are into people watching.. or that random who sat two seats next to me, got up and then sat two seats further. Then proceeded to move down another two more seats? Either he kept farting and didn’t want me to figure out it was him, or he has a weird seat fetish.
Perhaps ill never know.
3 – The I have no idea what the F*^& I’m doing
Now these people are the most intriguing. Simply because they just have no clue what they are doing or where they are going.
I used to be this person until airports became my second home.
You have the man with the big doctors glasses reading his even bigger news article while observing the gate monitor a thousand times just incase the plane arrived within that one blink of a second.
The cute mother and daughter wearing matching blue shirts loudly whilst nervously laughing as they both pull each other into different directions. I like them because they bought Krispy Kreme donuts.
Then there is the real clueless ones who clearly didn’t listen when they were onboard as to where their baggage gate is. So, they stand there with one bag off their shoulder, a puzzled expression and try to take in the numbered board. They remind me of funny statues about to be painted like one of Leonardo’s french girls.
4 – The badass child
These are the rug rats that have been flying way before they were even formed in the womb or … they have just grown by 10 years because they are now a badass who fly’s.
They run through the airport at full flash speed and attack anything that gets in their way. Sometimes the more “mature” ones like to order a babyccinos while strutting through the airport as if it is Paris fashion week with their ‘oh so lavishing Gucci handbag.’
Or if you were anything like me as a curious, odd child, these are the ones who run through each seat while going up to other humans and just look. Or point, or stare or pick their nose as a courtesy offering of friendship. Okay gross, I am aware, but hey! I was 5 for god sake.
5 – The love bubble
The couple who can not take their soul admiring eyes of each other. These are the honeymooners/ love birds.
They are like one person but two. I swear if I have to sit here without my headphones and hear another smooching sound I will throw my veggie chip at them. I get it, we all get it, you are in Love. Even the 6 year old picking his nose across from you gets it. I think love is amazing and expressing public display of affection is A-OK, however please! Control your tongues and have that wrestling match for later tonight. Unless your licking a Double choc vanilla ice cream, then this is the only time the tongue needs to be present.
6 – The food muncher
These are the ones you see scoffing down a pie at their chosen seat in the terminal or the ones who are quick to talk, walk and eat after they have just landed or about to board.
I actually just observed a guy who literally went from one cafe to the other to the kitchen bar. I mean, when you gotta eat.. you gotta eat right? I kinda want to be friends with this human as he seems to understand food on a more soul connecting level.
What about the special ones who like to interrupt the sequent in walking patterns as they STOP suddenly by allowing themselves to enjoy the pleasure of the sweet sweet cupcake.
On rare occasions you might even see the bag picker (me) who has many hidden sneaky snacks in their carry on. Constantly reaching into their bag while bringing out some sort of food product.
7 – Friendly people ( They do exist.)
You will come across the ones who will speak to YOU. Yes in this day and age isn’t it strange when someone actually starts a verbal conversation without liking your Instagram picture first? Shocking! I know.
I actually was that person. I tried to start a friendly conversation with this other human being in a sushi train who looked awkward as F^&* and responded with short mumbles. It wasn’t that hard to pass me the mayo now was it?
I find it hilariously fascinating watching those who try to speak to others to then have those who try to not respond back to these others. I get it, we are all so cool and awesome that speaking is so last year.
However, they are rare and I suggest you put down your devices and actually listen to these friendly people. You never know, they might end up becoming your new drinking buddy. Or.. they might be weirdo. But you will never know what kinder surprise gift you will get if you don’t try, right.
Well, There you have it.
7 people I have noticed in my short time here at this terminal.
So, In summary if you would like to add ‘people watching’ as a talent on your resume here is a short list of how to do so:
- Obtain a comfortable yet achievable viewable position to begin phase one.
- Don’t look too obvious, you may want to wear sunglass, headphones or sip on a coffee as your slowly observe your surrounding target area.
- Keep a low profile. You want to feel and become like a undercover detective.
- Dart your eyes once in a while to different spots, not too much though! You don’t want to draw attention towards you where people start to watch you back.
- Remain Mysterious. Don’t wear colours that draw attention, keep it smooth and slick.
- Find your target. Now observe their behaviour.
- Prepare yourself incase you get caught. Have a back up plan or a speech ready incase you are approached. If they spot you from a distance just look down and NEVER look back. They will find you.
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Update – Albert has removed himself from his comfortable sweaty seat since finishing this post. I have wasted 3 hours of my time writing, observing and eating chips.